Dear Barack;

Santa regrets to inform you that even though you are number one on his naughty listing he will be unable to leave you a lump of coal as punishment this year.

This is due to your idiotic energy policies causing coal mines to close, which means Santa has no coal to give.

You won't get off scot free though naughty one. Santa has decided to rat you out to your wife everytime you sneak a smoke, a chilli dog, or BBQ. Santa hopes you enjoy upcoming tofu diet there chump.

In closing remember it is unwise to mess with someone that sees you when you are naughty, especially one that just signed a contract with Fox news.

J.J. Fizzwizzle
Chief Elf